Being that I have a passion for ministry to youth that struggle with depression and addiction I often think about words and their effect. One thing that seems to be constantly on my mind is the name of my former youth group: The Refuge. I often question whether or not I do my best to make my house, my church, anywhere I am a refuge for those who are struggling. I have been to places that feel like a true refuge, and many places that do not feel like a refuge at all. But what makes a place a true refuge? Obviously it is the hearts of those that are there. But how can we tell someone's heart?
Matthew 12:34b "...the mouth speaks what the heart is full of"
Lots of youth groups have posters about God's great love, or even from TWLOHA, or about God being a great refuge, and almost every youth group sings songs of God's great love. I doubt you could find a youth pastor that openly says he won't be there for a student if they struggle with depression, cutting, homosexuality, or other such sins and addictions, in fact I would venture that nearly every youth pastor would encourage people to come to them or other leaders with such struggles for counseling. So why aren't teens with those issues coming out in full force to seek help in the church? There are a few theories.
1. There are very few teens with those struggles in the church and in youth groups. (ignorant)
2. Many do seek help, but since it is confidential we don't hear about it. (true in some cases, but still most statistically there are many kids that struggle with depression, and even more that struggle with homosexuality that do not feel as if they can talk to anyone in their church)
My answer? I think we as Christians have dropped the ball somewhere. Now this is not intended to be one of those theologically liberal notes bashing the church while coming up with no real answer at all besides "the church sucks"....I HATE those. I think the body of Christ is fantastic and many churches are doing fantastic jobs of reaching these kids(I know I do my best in the youth group I work with, and the leaders I work with do the same). However, there is always room for improvement and encouragement to continue to do right.
I think well meaning people sometimes just do not realize what they are saying. I have heard many Christians over the years make jokes about cutting, suicide, and being gay. However, I don't think we know the effect that those words may have on people around us who are secretly struggling with that. And let's not be naive enough to say that we know that there are not people around us that cut, are depressed, or struggle with homosexuality. I have talked to kids that struggle with all those areas and when asked why they didn't speak up sooner many of them say it is because they heard jokes about it and figured that people would think they were stupid, or not take their struggle seriously, or even more heartbreaking...they thought that because of their struggle people would not want to help them because God would not love them because of their struggle.
So let's lead by example. So instead of making a jokes about "emo cutting kids", using words like "fag", making jokes about people killing themselves, or making comments about "those druggies" how about showing God's love and making yourself available to talk to those people? Because I guarantee you if they don't go to Christians with their struggles, they will turn to the world. And who knows....maybe you will get an opportunity to introduce someone to the God that died for us "while we were yet sinners"(Romans 5:8). If Jesus hung around tax collectors and whores, I am pretty sure no one is too good to reach out in love to that gay kid at school, or the kid that wears long sleeves and scowls at everyone so they won't see his cuts. :)
Way to be all people who don't just speak the truth...but who speak it in love.
2 comments:
Totally agree with you. Great post!
Great Post Jeremiah! :)
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